I think people really are sincere when they off-handedly throw out that “hey, if you need anything, give me a call,” but I also think that it’s easy to feel that way at the moment. Someone’s going through something and you want to help, I get it. I’ve said it myself and truly did mean it, truly hoped the person thinks of me when they find themselves in need of something.
But I also know how I feel when someone I’ve casually told to call me if they need anything actually calls.
I told you I’d be honest, so I have to admit that when I see the phone ring or the text from someone who I know is reaching out to take me up on my offer, I have a moment of “oh shit, what am I going to have to do? How will this inconvenience me? Do they even know me? I couldn’t have been the first person they called. Omg, don’t they have friends?”
WILL I NEED TO LEAVE THE HOUSE?”
And then I feel terrible for thinking that way. I’m a fucking monster. And while I’m acknowledging how devoid of humanity I am, I’m still praying the person texted me by accident.
Disclaimer: This is not an across-the-board reaction. There are friends and family for whom we’re there no matter what; we literally drop everything to go to their side.
My point is this: If I have the tendency to react this way to requests for help from people who I’ve actually told to call me for the very thing they’re reaching out for now, I can’t be the only one. I’m not the appalling person unicorn. There are more out there.
And that’s why I’ll never call. I don’t want my number causing that reaction for anybody.
I looked but I don’t have a photo of my bankrupt soul so below is a picture of what I assume to be a terrible person. Enjoy.
Sincerely writing,
Zoey